I'm tired

I've been watching different people's videos on youtube this week. I've randomly been led to all kinds of different people. Especially atheists and christians, well in any case people who like to argue their point. My brain is baffled, but not by the different opinions, but by such apparent hatred between so many people. Is this what god wanted? Does he really want people to come to their conclusions by the most offensive one, or the most controlling one? I don't know, i don't see god that way. I wish i could tell people exactly what god means to me, but i feel like i get sidetracked with explaining what i think the bible means. I mean, does god expect me to explain all the details that i understand (and even the ones that i don't). This seems impossible to me. There are so many layers, layer after layer to the bible AND my experiences with god. People tend to take certain verses from the bible that they haven't heard satisfactory answers to and blame this on god (who they think doesn't exist,but still even though god doesn't exist, god's horrible...), when really they should be blaming christians, if they blame anyone. And christians should take the blame for not portraiying god the way god is. didn't god tell us to use our gifts to practise loving the world? don't we have a holy spirit to refresh if we get beaten down. I can't imagine the holy spirit refreshing someone and then saying "now go insult that person" or "now go be narrow-minded"or "go say whatever it takes to make them afraid of hell". No, on the contrary. God said "love one another as i have loved you." God swallowed all his pride, and in his mind THAT was the only way to save us. So, wouldn't that be our way to save others?
This could just be me babbling on and on, but at the moment, this is what i'm thinking. But for many people, this is religious babbling and delusional, but i'm still interested to hear what people think.